Everyone calm down.

Let’s all agree that this is the worst quarterback class in years and that Shedeur Sanders is potentially the next Johnny Football. Talented, but 75% hype. (UNPOPULAR OPINION. But I’ve seen a lot in almost 50 years of living and watching football.)

We’re deep into the offseason. We’re addicted to anxiety. Everyone has developed ADHD if they didn’t already have it. AAAAGGGHHHHH GO ENJOY A FREAKING LADYBUG ON A LEAF. Learn how to interact with humans.

I get it. Your team’s o line is shit. You don’t have a WR3. If you’re an Eagles fan, your team has been treated like a parts car.

Lemme tell you this: it’s gonna be okay.

This is when you briefly become a Cougars or Rockets fan. It’s okay to like Houston for a minute, even though we will shit the bed like a lady in a nursing home at the most important minute. It’s okay.

There was a book when I moved here 20 years ago called “Houston: It’s Worth It.” That became a SLOGAN. Then it was “It’s Okay to Like Houston.” Muthafucka WHAT?

I just… I have a lot to say about it, but I like the place. I think the Coogs might embarrass Duke. The Rockets might keep getting good if they make some different choices. The Texans will finally make the AFC championship if Nick Caserio can learn what an o line is and we grab Egbuka. The Astros might need to fire their “hitter coach” and get some torpedo bats for Yordaddy Alvarez. Or we could just run up on Cam Smith. Kid has been here for two months and anyone in Hustletown (everyone who’s not a millionaire hates that term, btw) has his back.

… in the meantime, go Coogs, I guess. Go kill it in the Final Four.

I won’t even discuss the protests I want to hold outside Mickey Loomis’ house.

Xo,

Andy